hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
