Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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