Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
