I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
