dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
