I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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