did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Who did Billy Mays play for?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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