Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
