I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
