I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
