this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
