I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
