i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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