If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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