It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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