Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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