She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize