yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize