yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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