the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
