Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize