the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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