i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
