i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
