I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Say something about gay babies.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Damn victory sex feels great
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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