bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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