you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
