And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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