Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
