17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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