i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i will never coherently bang her
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
dude. I can hear the air.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
