party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize