You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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