I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
