Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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