So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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