"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
