How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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