So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
