Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
