I think I died a long time ago.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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