One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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