it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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