For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
