i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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