How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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