True but thats because hes a fetus.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
