I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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