careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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