gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
