i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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