I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize