What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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