..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Houston, we have a blender
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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