Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
