I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
