have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
