He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
