I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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