best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
