wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
