That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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