yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We have started to decorate penises.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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