i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
