so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
