You work out of a Hotel?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
worst night to have a conscience
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize