i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
