i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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