it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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