he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
