So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
