I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Are we in a gay sports bar?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
