I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
