oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
