And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
