nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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