wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
