its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
